GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE March 10, 2000

Law and humor

This former lawyer goes from serving motions to serving up laughs

In between answering her call waiting and letting in and out Maxine, one of her three attention-seeking dogs, gay ex-lawyer and comedy producer Maggie Cassella had a hilarious, fast paced phone conversation with this writer, from her home in Toronto, Canada. She has a one-night engagement at Wall Street nightclub in Columbus Saturday at 9 pm.

While at home, Cassella writes the entertainment commentary she does for "Star Bites," on Star-TV.com and her New Jersey morning radio "Because I Said So❞ segment. In addition, she produces an annual comedy festival called We're Funny That Way. The festival was turned into a documentary film in 1998.

"I like it [working in her home]," Cassaella said. “Right now, I'm in gym clothes because I just got back from the gym. There's a lot of distraction. I want to turn on Law & Order."

Cassella's mind works so fast that smart money would be on her in a toothpick-counting contest with Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man. But she is easily distracted.

"A comic with ADD [attention deficit disorder] will do better than one without," assured the comic. "Because you're paying attention." Cassella is a native of Connecticut, where she has performed at what she cynically refers to as "Insurance Pride,” because of all the insurance company booths at Pride festivals there. She moved to Canada to be with her wife of three years, and has since become a Canadian citizen.

"In the States I get pigeonholed into gay stuff," she said when asked about the difference in attitude in the two countries. “Here, it's just who I am."

Making a rare exception to her rule about never telling a joke in an interview, she also gave a unique view of why Vermont is considering a domestic partner law:

"What's Vermont known for? Maple syrup. It's a queer flytrap. There're gonna get us all stuck together and kill us."

When asked if being a lesbian helps her comedy, Cassella replied, "Absolutely. I think it helps me look at things from all angles."

The comic had a lot to say about who and what make her laugh.

"Some people are naturally funny. My father is funny. I like Rosie O'Donnell, Lily Tomlin, Lea [DeLaria], Kate Clinton. A lot of people make me laugh. Folks make me laugh. Like people sitting in their car. They're sitting there and they won't look at you, like my dog when she did something wrong. Look at me, so I can flip you off!"

Aside from everyday life, she also finds the humor in a British sketch show Smack the Pony. "Reviewer tip number one: If a comic tells you it's funny, A, they are shagging someone in the group; B, they want something; or C, it's really funny."

Cassella is now writing partners with Lea DeLaria.

"I'm a contributor on it. So the part people don't like-Lea wrote it. It's very good teamwork. We're both funny. Lea has an amazing imagination and can put it in order lineally and never forget it. I can write dialogue for days."

Amid all this, she still finds time to perform her stand-up. She says her shows draw about fifty-fifty men and women. But she admits, “I have a hard time getting men in. Especially in P-town."

When asked how she feels about closeted performers, she says, "I'm not going to judge that choice. But don't diminish the gains we've made by going the other way," she replied in reference to O'Donnell's love of her Tommy and Ricky Martin answering questions about what kind of girls he likes in interviews. "Black people don't have that option," she added.

With that, a bark and a beep announced that it was time for Maggie Cassella to tend to the pets before rushing to the studio to fill the northern hemisphere with lesbian angst.

"What's Vermont known for? Maple -

syrup. It's a queer

flytrap. There're

gonna get us all stuck

together and kill us."

-Maggie Cassella